i'm glad that my sharing what i experienced with you has helped in anyway - and i'm sorry about the sleeping sitch you're in.

though your positive outlook on it giving you space and time to work on yourself is a great thing to read - and helps me. my H has left town for a month, and i really need to use the time and space to work on myself.

btw - my H was really sincere too, when he told me repeatedly with much sympathetic emotion,for the last 2 years how disabled and helpless i was (because he chose to see me that way)

if she is so hurt, then why is she controlling the sitch now by "not allowing "you to speak with her? sorry to be blunt, but if you're saying that she isn't showing any signs of wanting to end the marriage - why is she controlling the sitch by not allowing you to talk to her, and what does that mean for you, and what are your boundaries for her setting the rules?

as for what H has "done to me" - thanks for your sympathy - but it works both ways - and i really feel that both H and I brought our relationship to that point together. i'm definitely NOT responsible for his decision to solve problems by having an affair and leaving, but i am half responsible for the sorry state our relationship got to, when it happened

hope your day is going well - btw - i don't know if this would work for you, but meditation really helped me to solidify the ability to stay calm while dealing with H - it helps to rewire your brain to a much calmer state.

me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"