What do I do next? Part 3

[luvhurts49]

Been a few weeks since I've been on here. For the first time in quite some time, my W and I had a sit down talk (my suggestion). My intention for this was to voice my thoughts on some things and to basically just get some things off my chest--nothing too major, but things that I've had bottled up for some time.

Basically I found out that my W has been depressed since the birth of our last son (3 years) and that she would find herself crying in the shower or eating snacks to overcome the depression. Keep in mind that my W is not the easiest person to read, I told her that I didn't know that she was depressed and that she never told me. She blames me for her depression and as a result, not being able to lose weight. She also said that she felt more alone when we were together than she does now out on her own. She says that she still loves me, but not how a W should and that we will never get back together again.

Now I've heard a lot of this before (except the depression part) and I told her that we have a problem communicating and she agreed. It seems that every time we have a problem we both work hard at fixing it and our communication become better. After a period of time, our communication starts to get bad again but we can't seem to figure out how to get it back until things completely blow up.

At this point I told her that it is obvious to me that in order to help fix our communication problems, that we need to seek professional help (ie communication workshops, couples therapy, etc). She tells me that it would only help with co-parenting. I simply said that I understand her point of view, but it is my hopes that by being able to communicate with each other again that we will both realize that we not only still love each other, but that we still want to be with each other.

I told her that I didn't want an answer right now and I really don't want her to think about it on that day, but to put some thought into it another time and to let me know whether this is something that she would be willing to do. I've found some great places that specialize in couples communication and have some great reviews/results. I am hopeful that she will be agreeable to going to one of these.

I know this is backsliding a bit, but I'm at the end of my rope. I've lost almost all communication with my W, D is heating up, and things are become much more complicated.