Stuck in a mess

[Dory]

Wow, Thank you to the admin/mods for approving my post so quickly! Much appreciated!

My 180's thus far:

~stopped talking/complaining about my inlaws. Now when H brings them up and starts complaining about them, I just smile and say, "well, that's how they are." (trying to validate without getting sucked in)

~Been much dimmer, with the exception of discussions about D12. This has been tough to balance, though. My inlaws have gone away for the winter, leaving H alone. Considering his mental state, I've been trying to keep an eye out for any indication that it could be deteriorating (for his own safety) but been trying to do so at a distance, without being terribly intrusive.

~Lost a lot of weight (almost 50 lbs in the past 4 months). Although this is a symptom of my depression and not something that I intentionally worked towards, H has noticed and has complimented me numerous times about how good I look.

~Increased the frequency of which I see my therapist which has made a huge difference in my outlook and attitude.

~Stopped drinking (not that I was a big drinker before all this happened, I just decided that drinking was probably not in my best interest right now)

~Bought myself some new clothes. Although this was mainly out of necessity because nothing I had fit, it's still something out of the ordinary that I would do (I tend to be a real tightwad especially when it comes to spending money on myself).

~Relaxed a fair bit regarding housekeeping. I'm usually quite obsessive/compulsive about it and have perfectionist tendencies.



This is all I can think of right now, I'm sure there's more but I just can't think of them off the top of my head right now.

So now for my first question:

My H's primary love language is physical affection. This does not mesh well with me (at all!), although it's something I am willing to change about myself. So I'm wondering if anybody can offer any ideas on what I might be able to try without coming off as pursuing? This is foreign territory for me, I am clueless on how to go about it.

Any ideas/input?

Thanks!