As you can see by my latest post, the door has opened some more. Yay! I found the chink, AND it was sooner than later. Yay, Yay!!
Quote: They just want it to all go away. Well, if THEY want that, think how much more WE want it!
Oh, so true.
For me, NOT approaching my H and looking for reassurances has been difficult - but necessary.
I've had to keep to HIS time schedule throughtout this recovery process. But, I've learned that this is the ONLY way that I'm going to get what I want.
Sage, It is awesome, isn't it? I'm feeling less lonely and more hopeful now that my H has stepped out on to that tightrope with me. - Incredible. -
Kaw, I'm lagging way behind with everybody's threads too. Wish there were a few more hours in the day. Yea, it would appear that another divorce has been busted around here. Mine! I know that this is not the end of the story, nor the end of problems, but it certainly is a better place to work from.
KewlKitti, Utterly!! Although it felt like a lifetime while I was crawling on all fours through the muck - looking back - I see a larger picture of enormous change unfolding in a relatively small amount of time. I think that due to the nature of the process in which growth is largely invisible to us, it feels like slow motion. I really, really hope that my situation provides hope and encouragement to all who are struggling through their own.
Rachael, Yes, he did give me a gift, something that I've longed for, for so long. I was emotionally compelled to give him something valuable in return. Reciprocity...
I'm really, really pleased and thrilled, for you!!!
And also, selfishly, for me and others, because it means that this kind of thing is not just a fluke or a one off, but something that so many of us can achieve if we stick the course...
I just feel immeasurably more optimistic about my situation too, even though H is going away for two weeks to a country where there is a potential OW that he has been in contact with by email and IM for over a year. I just feel that 'WE' have turned a corner, and that things can only get better, not worse, if we give it time and patience.
Does your situation already feel more open and honest than your M before Jeannine? The fact that he can articulate such concerns and reassurances?
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I noticed that you posted some very nice positives over on your thread. I'm happy to hear that you are feeling a little more optimist. I'm sure your nerves are appreciative, too.
Quote: Does your situation already feel more open and honest than your M before Jeannine? The fact that he can articulate such concerns and reassurances?
Yes!
For a long time prior too the "bomb", there were numerous aspects of our M that were sick.
For instance, I used to spend WAY too much time talking to the side of my H's head. Whereas now, he makes a point of looking me directly in the face and listens with apparent interest and even interacts with questions and comments. He'll go so far as to put the TV on pause if I start to speak and no longer has that look of impatience on his face that says, "Are you done yet?"
He doesn't "react" nearly as much, he shares more, laughs more and seems more present than before.
It appears that he's learning how to DB in return. Very
Quote: We seem to be in a very similar stage right now, as do our H's.
High Five!!! We do seem to be in lock sync in many ways, yes? Husband's too!
It's odd, but this morning after our "talk", H was looking at a calendar and said, "Hey, you were born in the year of the monkey, right?" I confirmed this to be so, and then he said, "Your year begins this January 22."
Yay! 
