Separation, Moved back in, still ILYBNILWY Part 2

[tenbusrider]

Journaling -

There was a problem with our cell phone account yesterday, and it got suspended. I fixed that with the carrier, then sent W a text asking if she'd gotten a message about the account being suspended. She said she did. I told her it should be okay now.

A few minutes later, she asked (through text) what I wanted for dinner, grilled chicken or ma po dofu (spicy pork and tofu dish). I responded grilled children (auto correct on the phone is a lovely thing). It took a little while before W noticed what was sent. She made a reference to a funny video we'd watched a while back. It was pretty good interaction.

When I got home, she basically ignored me and was busy on her phone. I went to my room and found that it had been picked up and was (for the most part) clean. Found S behind my door. He'd just had a haircut. I thanked W for cleaning the room, then layed on the bed for a while (been really tired lately). She came in a little while later and apologized for being on her phone for so long. The "dumb phone" has a browser, but it's super slow, so apparently facebook was taking forever to load or do anything. I told her it wasn't a problem.

I noticed that the flowers I'd given her on Sat were finally in a vase (they weren't expensive flowers, just a little $5 decorative bouquet from the grocery store). They'd been sitting in the fridge since Sunday morning.

I cleaned the dishes in the kitchen since she hadn't had the chance to get to them. She thanked me for that.

She was pretty tired, too, and wanted to go meditate and relax. I told her to go and relax. She started some chicken thighs in the oven and asked me to pull them out after the timer went off. Also asked me to chop some vegetables and feed S. I did those things, then noticed that her sheets were in the washing machine and clothes from my room and the bathroom hamper were in the dryer. I pulled those out and folded them up, then got her sheets in the dryer.

W was upstairs for almost 2 hours. She'd fallen asleep. She came down saying she should have told me to come get her after the chicken was done. I'd already eaten a piece and mentioned that I was somewhat expecting her to not come back down. She did look incredibly tired, but went on to finish cooking dinner. She thanked me for getting her sheets in the dryer.

We ate and went to bed.

She seemed somewhat agitated yesterday, despite the good interaction. I let it be, figuring a lot of it was exhaustion from keeping up with S and trying to clean all day. It was even easier to let it be when I considered how tired I was and was content to spend the remainder of her time upstairs laying on my bed with S, who passed out pretty quickly after his chicken and dumplings. Felt nice. I was prepared to let him sleep with me if W hadn't come back down.

Wish I always had such control as I did last night. Pacing is one of my biggest habits, has been since I was a child. A good 180 would be to stop that, but that's probably the hardest thing to do of everything else I've made a 180 on so far. Last night, I just layed down. Maybe the trick is to never get quite 6 hours of sleep at night.