As I have said in my recent posts I am very new to the DB Online Community. I have read The Divorce Remedy so no need to list the 37 guidelines. There are a lot of threads to read through, and I have read many of them in my short week plus here. One thing I wonder about the Community is there anyone or more people who feel time is not going to work in your favor?
In my case, my H walked out two months ago. He wants to sell the house we bought in Sept 2011. I agree it is a financial albatross, and there is no way I can afford it on my own even as a career woman making a decent living. My choices after it is sold are to move almost 100 miles away to be closer to my parents and friends who can support me emotionally and help me with raising our preschool-aged D; or move 20 miles into the big city where I work fulltime and could maintain a caregiver situation. In either scenario I feel the palpable message to my H is “yes, I agree we are done and see ya” versus my quietly working on the M. Consider it from the spouse’s perspective who does not know what we DBers are up to. Are they seeing the concession to sell the family home, move away whatever the distance, etc. as prelude to D?
I also have to consider our child who is only 4. It will soon be time to re-enroll her in preschool. I’m not a Rockefeller so I can’t enroll her in one school to only enroll somewhere else (and lose the enrollment fees) because the house sold, and we moved away (far or close.) We have new neighbors with three kids around our D’s age. I use the winter weather as an excuse to not engage in play dates. What would be the point in having everything change for our D, even new friends, when there is so much practical limbo for her (and me but I am an adult and understand what is happening, to an extent.)
Anyone else been in a fight against time?
A lot of us have been up against a time crunch, and have gotten the resulting, vague platitudes: "Time is on your side" and all that. I have read what little you have been able to post of your sitch and see that your child is already being coerced into lying to you by her dad. Despicable! So, "TIME" is not going to help that immediate prob. Get legal advice and see about a separation agreement to protect yourself and your child financially. I have seen too many cases where a LBS is too frozen in fear to make "demands" on the "poor, fogged out WAS." Don't panic; this does not mean you will be divorced tomorrow, just make some sound decisions right now and don't worry that they may "drive WAS further away." BS!!! He's already "away" and you do not have to consider selling anything at this very moment. Put your foot down and take some of your power and dignity back. He may "get angry." STFW? You are fighting for your child's well being. What sort of father would get "angry" at that? A really selfish, uncaring one!!
