There is alot to comment about but I don't have time to comment on everything so I'll just say what little I can right now.
First off, I wasn't "holding out" on sex. I wasn't doing it to punish him. I just didn't feel loved to give him what he desired. I desired closeness...emotional connection...I even told him how I was feeling but he discounted my feelings and said that I shouldn't feel like that and ignored what I was trying to convey. I don't think that was being very fair or open minded to my needs. Yes, I did try and we had a few intimate times together, but it really only felt like I was just giving him sex and I wasn't getting the affection. Am I supposed to just keep giving in and not have the emotional connection that I desire?
And when he said that I would just throw it in his face IF he were to change his mind, my answer to him was that I wouldn't do that. There was a time long before we got married that he wasn't sure about being with me because of his previous divorce. I was asked to give him space and stay at a friend's house. I did. After a few days he asked me to return and we made up, but I NEVER held that over him or made him feel guilty about it. We just moved on. I reminded him of that time when we were talking and I reiterated the fact that I have never brought it up. And I would never do that. I told him I could understand how he was feeling. But again, he doesn't want to talk about the problems and he is just waiting for me to change. Yes, he brought it up a couple of months ago and yes, I tried to change for him..for us..but I wasn't getting any change from him. It felt all very one sided and that's when it slipped back into the way it was.
I have other comments to reply to but I need to get myself together before he comes home. I did retain a lawyer today to protect myself. I understand that it takes 6-7 months before the D actually would go thru so hopefully we can try to reconcile or move on, but either way, I've heard what you said and I've taken action in regards to it.
Will the marriage ever get back together..I don't know. I hope so. But right now, I am protecting myself and trying to stay strong. I will address the other comments when I can.
