W is feeling no consequences for her actions and H is, what? Just there to babysit so W can continue to do as she pleases? I see no strength here, just emasculating behaviors.
Per my db coach "it's NOT the spouse's job to make their spouse 'feel the consequences' of their actions or 'teach them a lesson'. Life does that".
Aside from appearing vindictive, We don't know what his w feels but
she sounds confused and miserable to me. And since leaving the house is probably not the legally smart thing to do, what are you suggesting he do - kick her out-- so he can work to save the m?
it's not about being "right" it's about being happy.
ALL WAS's are cake eaters for some amount of time.
They want out of the marriage and we the lbs'ers want it to last. So for awhile, WE (LBSers) DO ALL THE WORK, and that's that.
At some point it must change, sure I'll buy that. But that's down the road after SHE chooses to work on the m.
To suggest he dump her now to "show her", would be counterproductive and might appear punitive. I'm not suggesting he be a doormat. Not at all.
If he were to seriously GAL, Detach and do HUGE 180s I don't think he'd be seen as weak at all. On the contrary,
GAL the way I envision, would keep him home w/his kids but busy, strong and upbeat, & NOT available to babysit for her at all, unless it was his kid time (and safe for the kids).
Getting a sitter soon may have to happen but it's cheaper than an apartment.
And if she insists on divorcing but staying under one roof--she is delusional. But HE doesn't have to tell her that...it's hers to discover. Lots of this is for her to figure out. He can't do it TO her or For her.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
