You have the right frame of mind and I know you are moving forward. You don’t need to give up hope that you and your H may R down the road. Hope for the best but plan on the worst. I even think some day there could be a chance in that happening even in my mess. The push pull crap is for the birds. When they try and s.u.c.k. us back in we need to remember to unplug the vacuum! They want us to sit around and be miserable about our life. When we actually show them that nothing can bring us down that really makes them think about things. None of us need to be controlled by someone and when they treat us poorly, we need to let them go on this crazy journey. We can control which direction we go in life and I like that I know I am the one making my choices.
As far as them being alone they will settle for anything searching for happiness. Then after the new wears off they have to blame that person for the way they feel. They just don’t have that figured out in life. That is why I think we are so much more advanced in this process. We are actually doing the work to make our journey turn out how we like. They are grasping at straws and clinging to thoughts of the fairy tale life. They keep fighting these demons and can’t figure out why they are not getting exactly what they are looking for in life. If they would only look within things would come together.
You know I think about these things full circle and I don’t know all the answers. I do know that I feel so much better about the direction my life is headed, that all the bullshirt kind of slides off like water on a ducks back. After going through this stuff I want everyone to feel the exact same way I do now. I hated being the guy that hurt so much inside. I hated being the guy that tried to fake being happy for so long. We all deserve to be happy and the funny thing we know it comes from within. They still think it’s because they have been missing out in life. The truth be told they didn’t miss out in life they let life get the best of them. They have the need to run because that’s what they have done with everything in life. I see that so much clearer in people now that it’s kind of strange. All these traits were formed during their childhood, they may all be a little different but that’s the way they have dealt with everything in life. I see this so much clearer in my ex.
Keep on keeping on Wendy, I think you are doing a terrific job! I may not be a great cheerleader I just want everyone to feel the same way I do now. I said something to another poster and I want you to think about it for a while. We as humans usually want what we can’t have. I think that plays a big part in why this is so hard at first.
Remember keep the focus off the twinkle twat/crinkle crotches or whatever you want to call them. Place that anger where it belongs. I did love those names, I just always think we have no clue what they were told in the beginning. They just don’t deserve an ounce of focus and me being a betting man would say they heard more lying than any of us. Morales are running very low in people that get involved with someone that is married.
I also agree with kml, and snodderly talk to an attorney before you do anything. Protect the most important one in this, YOU!
Take care.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
