Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

Hey Wendy! How funny! We are on our way to Germany next week for S18's spring break from college. My brother lives in Cologne. We have been before...we are thinking of adding a day trip to Paris or Amsterdam or Bruge but it might just be too much.

So, today's situation is this....H landed from trip yesterday and texts me while i am at the gym "Hi there" and he goes on to explain he used our joint account for a water filter because the water in the house where he is renting a room is not good. I replied thanks for letting me know. Then asked about Tyler. Tried to keep it short (heart jumping every time my phone chimes).

Came home to dinner with S16. H was texting him about having dinner tonight. S16 said nope, had to work. Then asked about getting an ice cream afterwards. S16 said nope, busy. My heart is BREAKING!!!!!!!

I am afraid this will give H the ammunition that it is "too late" and things have "gone too far" and it is "beyond repair" (he is dramatic and EVERYTHING is always black and white) and he will just really, really check out. Is this ridiculous?

I know I cannot control his relationships with the kids but it still hurts my heart. My S16 is the sweetest boy and he said he will never forgive my H for what he is doing to me.

I quick texted my therapist (hallelujah she is accessible) and she said to remind S16 to be the person he is always (kind, loving, forgiving) and that if the kindest thing he can do right now is to be away from his Dad then so be it. Tough Love???? Yep. It is killing me. She said encourage him to do and say what feels best for him now.

No goals yet. Planning spring break trip with S18. Heading to Germany to see my brother. Going to gym later. Went to dentist. Need gum surgery!!!! Yikes, I am only 44!!!!

Feeling more even keeled...so that is good, right?