Forgiveness

[25yearsmlc]

so no more texts to your son, even the nice ones telling him you love him. At most, one w/the word "love" on it would have sufficed. I'd feel smothered if I got that many texts from someone I was angry with. Plus you ignored what he asked of you...entirely.

It is hard for me to grasp his anger without you admitting any problems. I don't believe a kid that age can be "turned against" a parent by the other one, and besides, he was living with You...

You can pretend it's ALL about having no rules at his mom's, but he has had problems when he lived with you as well. Anyhow...

As for the counselling, it's not YOUR counselor he sees, it's a c the school suggested, right? Didn't the school require him to do "something" to show effort? Let your d know THAT...and how can counselling hurt him?

If it is all rehashing the past, or reliving the traumas all over again, your son may have a point. You may not recall all the things that happened to him if you were drinking or enraged.

Antlers ---No more "encouraging" the wife to "work together". She said NO. So Just forward the info and don't attach a note about how you wanted to make sure she had it...you send it in case you have to go to court and it shows you were communicating with her.

The rest of the words are all pursuit. And they sound as if you are coaching her on parenting and that infuriates her. She has a point. Let it go. Don't do what does not help...DB 101.

Lastly, I am frustrated by the frequent claim that this is all "new" to you b/c you "only let go" 4 months ago. The fact that you resisted so long, isn't a defense to changing so slowly overall.

Back off...and then back off some more. THAT would show some change.


Do you get what I'm saying?

I am sorry you feel so low right now. Seems you believe 4 months of changing some things, which they have not seen much of b/c of all the texts and drama with son, makes you feel entitled to reciprocity of some sort, and soon

or at least something better than what you are getting. Maybe in time.

What IS new in this is that you say you are changing. Okay I'll buy that.

But you have NOT given them nearly enough time to adapt to the new laid back NOT PURSUING, Antlers. The more you text the more it seems you are trying to control and that reeks of old Antlers...even if it's not true, it looks that way to them.

The old you, pushed and pushed to get his way - and what they see NOW is the new you, doing a lot of what looks the same...pushing and pursuing.

If they say "don't text" - then don't...

Antlers, How is the counselling YOU are getting, working out?

And what are your GAL activities? You MUST MUST MUST meet new people. Don't tell me you are too busy and make me get out my Alaskan list of GAL b/c you will embarass yourself. IF I could GAL THERE...you can wherever you are.

really!