You are approaching true detachment. It must make you feel relieved in some ways to "let her go" to discover her path.
Your W is reaching out to you on many levels. She still relies on you to be there for her to do certain things, like driving the bus through city streets.
The ride to the city wasn't full of awkward silence and tension. Your W opened up to you about things that were on her mind. Yes, they were not about your R or the kids or the future. It was things that were on her mind. It sounds like your W withdraws from everything and everyone and spends a lot of time alone. Does she have a close friend or family member whom she talks to about anything? You did amazing by being there for her and listening. That's what she needs right now, just someone to listen to her.
Very interesting about the book about life lessons, and the fact that she wants both of you to read it and compare notes. Very, very interesting.
I think one thing that your wife may be struggling with is that she sees you "moving on", doing things for yourself and being happy. She may feel like you're moving on without her. She's still stuck and is trying to figure out which way to go. As you continue to detach, don't go too far from her. Don't reach out to her in ways of pursuing, but do check up on her every now and then and let her know that you're there. You can do so by doing what you've been doing, listen to her when she's opening up. Don't offer advice unless she asks. I don't think she wants you to move on without her, but she can't seem to figure out how to go with you yet. She's making progress, even if it seems minuscule right now.
