I made a trip back home to visit Grandma. She is 89 and her heart is failing. She is going downhill daily but very ok with it. We, as a family, are too. She is still able to speak but not much else. It was very good to see and talk with her. What a good, sweet, caring woman.
I had lots of driving time, and time at the hospital, to think about life. It was good. I found some peace, and was more relaxed than I have been in weeks. My appetite was back, energy up, sleeping well. Sad, but ok.
I got home and all the anxiety came rushing back. Even stronger than when I left. I felt peaceful until the moment I walked in the door. Knot in my stomache. Appetite gone. Restless sleep. Worry. It just rushed at me. I don't know why.
