We do need to let go and move forward, but for many of us this relationship was our first major one, and it lasted well over a quarter of a century and more than half our lives.
This takes a LOT of healing from. And I don't think we can force it. I had an illuminating lunch recently with a woman in her forties, and she said she realised she fell for passive agressive men [and we worked out why!] and at 40+ she thought 'enough' and is now in a very different sort of relationship.
However it took her two marriages + another long relationship to get that the person she needed to work on was her, and why she fell for PA men
She didn't dump on these men, or have a MLC, but said it is very easy to move on to another relationship without fixing ourselves.
Although we didn't break the MLCers, it isn't an entire coincidence that we ended up with who we did. I think the period of time of grieving, and learning to understand ourselves is crucial. Some people 'get it' sooner, so I am not criticising those who start dating earlier than others. But we certainly all need to take a long hard look at why we went for these damaged people, even if they loved us for a long time before they went crazy.
