Tad's Overdue Update

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Wen, Snodderly, Kim and AJ.

Wen, I truly believe that when you said this:

I wanted to chime in with my theory about depression. To me it is like a tide that comes and goes. And like the tides it is different every time. But also like the tides, you know it will change.

You hit the nail on the head. Somedays are really bad and it scares me a little.

I would also like to point out that it was very weird reading your post and seeing you sign it as "Wendy." You see, that is my X's name. That is what I woke up to this morning!

Snodderly, you said:

One last thing...again...ignore her comments...she is trying to justify what she did, make you look bad in the eyes of your son as well as get a reaction out of you. Don't fuel her fire!

My question is: does she realize that she is lying about me or does she actually believe it? I don't want my sons thinking that I ever cheated on their mother. That is not the kind of person I am.

Be guarded against the comments and accusations. They aren't likely over. I do notice however that they don't bother you nearly as much. That's good. You're seeing the craziness from more of a distance and that is much more healthy IMHO.

Thanks AJ. It does help to try to step back and look at the big picture. I can actually see the "craziness" even more when I am a little more objective about things.

You're awesome and you know it. You're a rock and a man amongst men. You've come a long way and will continue to do well Tad. The plateaus are not to be feared, but realize they will be temporary.

Thank you for the very nice words my friend. If you ever make it out to Arizona, I'll buy you a beer. Maybe 2.

The thing that bothers me these days is the music thing. Music was a very BIG part of my life. I loved all kinds of music. I was a radio DJ from the time I was 19 until I was 43. I could tell you an interesing fact about almost any song. I used to listen to EVERYTHING from Jazz, to Metal to Classical to Country to Hip Hop. I loved it all. Really.

But.....I have not turned the radio on in my car since February of 2011. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't. It is an actual FEAR. My S19 asked me two days ago if I have listened to the radio yet. I told him no. I CAN'T DO IT. I feel that music, or more specifically my career in music, played a big part in the downfall of my marriage. There have been times when I'll walk into a restaurant and turn around and walk out if music is playing. It is really that bad. Like I said, it really is a FEAR. Is this right or normal?

Tad