Just because your H has not fully committed to you and your M, does NOT mean he wants to be with OW.
Again, you must turn your focus off of her and back on to yourself.
Quote: My H says he cannot talk to me, and that he does not feel like I am his BF.
He is giving you imformation here, sweetie. Listen. This is what you need to focus on - not the OW, not even YOUR wants or (sorry) needs right now.
How about acting as if he is nothing more than an old friend. How would you behave around him if he were just that.
You might also try (when the time is right) to ask him, "What do you need from me in order to feel like I'm your best friend". Look for specifics and keep your attention fixed on his needs and desires. Your time will come after you help him over the finish line.
And may I remind you once again....PATIENCE. This is a veeeery sloooow process.
