Anxiety, boundaries and expectations?

[canadianMrs.]

Thank you Angel. I have been going through the site, and also sent the link to H...but didn't add anything to the e-mail that suggest he had to look at it.

The other day I felt my frustrations running high again. I try not to compare the effort he put toward OW, compared to me/us. He is trying, but when I analyze, I feel like its not good enough. I'm trying not to, because I do know I'm just a higher energy person and D has said he was not his true self with O, and he is trying to be his true self with me.

Yesterday H called to say he would come over (his day off) after school to see us. I said, are you afraid of me? (I will be home all day) He said, no, would you like me to come over earlier? I said, its up to you. He said, No, its up to both of us. If you want me to come over, you need to tell me. So, I said, I would like you to come over earlier. He said, You got it. I then said, I think this conversation is an eye opener, I'm waiting for you to say/do something and you're waiting for me, and so there is a lot of waiting. H agreed, and said now that we know, both of us are suppose to act upon what we want from/with the other.
Hopefully this will help. I have thought he was waiting for my lead, which I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. What should I do with that? I want to save our M, but there has to be close to equal effort.

My other issue is, other than a few hugs here and there, there has been no contact between us. Even now we act like very good platonic friends. I have said a few times I want to take this slowly, so I can see why H might be hesitant to be the one to start. How/when do I go about this.