Sandi - you hit the nail on the head when you wondered if she felt like the conversations and the MR was all just "surface" and she wanted you to get down deeper with her. She said these things, and it's so evident that we lacked emotional intimacy. She also mentioned that she wanted to be in a marriage where she "wanted to actually have sex." (That line really hurt, BTW...)
Her love language was quality time, and I felt that I really went out of my way to arrange for things for us to do. I think during these moments of quality time, she wanted emotional intimacy to develop. Evidently, it did not. (For what it's worth, my love languages were words of affirmation and physical touch. I felt I got little of these languages).
So she has been gone since Thursday. She sent one text on Saturday morning asking how I was. I replied "well, how are you?" She replied that she was grateful her family was with her, and that she was thinking of me. That was the extent of the exchange.
I've spent time with my family and friends the past few days and have kept myself busy, but I drift back to thinking of her. I miss her, obviously. I'm saddened by all of this and I hope she comes back. But I'm pretty resolute that I will not initiate any contact with her. She needs to miss me, miss the marriage, find out the grass isn't necessarily greener being separated. I'm just afraid that she will love this new life and ask for a D. Or start seeing someone. But I can't think of that stuff. That said, it's so hard not to...
Knowing where this crumbled apart, what can be done, if anything, to make her actually want to take a shot at this again so we can develop an emotional intimacy? Easier said than done, I suppose, but I think I know how this fell apart. I just want to do what I can (or not do, as it may be) to repair this.
