OMG I cant believe she is gone

[MrBond]

Nope. You can answer her when YOU are ready. Feel around your neck. Do you feel a leash on it? No? Then it's time you learned she's not your owner.

If she gets pissed about you not answering, that's her issue. You can tell her that your phone was off, or that you didn't get the message, or whatever. Point is that you are your own man. You made mistakes, well so did she. She's not completely blameless. But you need to get your confidence back.

Right now I hear you debating in your posts about the things you can't do, etc. BS. If you don't have friends, make some, volunteer, do something. If you prefer to be alone, then do something introspective. Something that will break the cycle.

You don't need to jump through the hoops that she's holding.