Specifics, please! Can't afford telephone consult!

[ptcr]

Saw therapist today. This is her spin since she knows him and "treated" him during the fall after the first bomb. She said there are 2 types of walkers...the first is under a veil of depression/MLC and the second has a personality disorder. She claims that my H is the first and that I do have choices and they are both difficult. 1) Wait and work on self like DB'ers say and 2) File and wait for the debris to fall. Both include waiting. She says there is always hope for the first category and that his guilt and shame are signs that he should be given time to work this out as he requested.

She also addressed my feelings of loneliness. She said I needed to change the way I think about the situation to change the way I react to teh situation. I need to be THANKFUL that he has this time away from me to think about things. She says if he was at home then he would not be, that he would be pretending (yep, that is what happened this Fall after he moved out and came back). So, just think, WOW isn't this awesome he has the time and space he requested because it is progress whether it feels like it to me or not.

Secondly, she reiterated the "make time your friend" mantra. She said that I was lucky to have time to think, read, USE my bath salts, big yard, big house, big kitchen....She said I should set long= and short-term goals but to think WOW, I have time because who has time in this fast-paced modern world. So, change perspective and it will change my mood.

Of course, easy to say today as I just left her office. I see her weekly and last night was rough.

My H was a P-3 pilot in the Navy. We were offered a tour in Hawaii. Is that where you are Wendy? We were offered a tour there but opted instead for England.

GAL activities...work on my personal chef ideas. Looking forward to volunteering at Botanical Garden Outdoor Kitchen but that doesn't start until next month. Going to gym tonight on my bike and picking one class to attend regularly instead of my independent cardio equipment routine (love the elliptical).

Will think of goals and let y'all know.

H nicer (via text and note he left in house when he used printer when I was gone) after he heard that I had seen attorney. She said that was good but what was the reason behind it...i.e., don't read too much into it. He may just be scared.

He did fill up S16's truck with gas and check fluids, etc, while he was at work. Did I post this already? I thanked him (all this via text). So that is an action...

I can't decide if my 180's are working. The only real 180 I have is silence...right???