Do whatever it takes to get your focus off of her and on improving yourself. She won't come back because she feels guilty, but she might come back if she sees a strong responsible thriving new you that is attractive to her. And if that doesn't bring her back, you still have all those improvements to help you have a great future even if it's without her. Your sitch is still very new - take a look around the forum and you'll see how long some others have been at this. It's called the gift of time - use it for yourself.
This is really important!! It takes time..
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
My heart goes out to u. This is the most painful part. Look up relaxation techniques (ie breathing exercises). Also, take walks. Being outdoors helps minimize the depression. One person journals at a coffee shop! Make a list of things you can do. Best of luck to you. Focus on you now and not her. This is your time to heal and grieve the loss of your best friend.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
i have come to really appreciate this forum i know all the 37 rules following them is hard but i really do try to stick to them i have not really talked to her. i left before she showed up to take her things and when she text's me i keep it very simple usually yes or no.
i do really appreciate the fact that she left the blanket i know it sounds stupid but my cat really does love it and i know its her blanket.. she took everything else that is hers so it was nice that she thought about our cat. i didnt send anything and ill continue to just not talk to her.
my job search is pretty much anything customer service although the few interviews i have had lately as much as i try to seem my normal upbeat self i think the depression is showing through.
i have taken up exercise and i do some form every day.
i go to school monday and wed. and when im there im usually pretty good.
im just really trying to detach right now its my main focus i dont even want any hope that we will get back together right now because all it does is keep me attached. the thought of her and another guy while im still attached to her kills me and i just really want to be moved on before it gets to that. I woke up like 5 times last night because of dreams of her and another guy. I cant live like that....
my anxiety has always been there but this whole thing has kicked it into overdrive. dealing with it and the depression is my biggest challenge. I know i can overcome it without medicine so i refuse to take drugs for it. i have thought about a therapist but i feel like talking to anyone helps enough (especially my grandmother) so i don't have the desire to pay for talking. if it gets bad enough ill consider it.
When will you know if it's bad enough. There's no shame in taking care of yourself, and you don't get bonus points for getting through this without professional help.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
when it goes more than a couple days of straight wallowing. i usually have a few good days then one really depressing day if she says something to me or i hear from somebody that talks to her.
i woke up fine today had a dream about myself no her involved i got up much sooner than i normally do and took a shower. its a little weird seeing the closet empty. but other than that i feel little to no depression today. i don't know what tomorrow holds but 1 day at a time for me right now.
im still just focusing on detaching right now. its still my main goal.
i have school today so it should help keep my mind off of things.
She sent me a text today saying... I'm going to ask you 1 more time are you going to sign. the process will be easier and less expensive please let me know...
Next thing you need to do is get your b@lls back from your W. Do that by calming yourself and letting go of the things that you can't control.
You say that you have no one to hang out with, no friends available, etc. Then go out for a run. Meditate. Read. Do whatever it takes to purge your W out from your system right now.
She's pressing you for a D. YOU have the right to not do what she wants. Her needs are no more important than yours. Calm yourself and take back control of YOUR life.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
