Thirteen Days In and Hurting

[mimivac]

Oh, hon, I could have written what you wrote. Your R sounds so similar to mine. I pretty much got the ILYB speech, too, but my H moved out in January to a friend's house, and permanently to a rented apartment this last weekend. I was so close to him and we did so much together that being without him feels almost unnatural at times. And I can definitely relate to the shock of hearing such hurtful things out of his mouth. My H has said things like, "I don't see you as an intimate partner anymore," and "In my subconscious mind, I never agreed to marry you." WTF? I thought I knew this man better than myself....

Anyway, there IS hope and you seem to be on track and very insightful in how you're handling this. You're right that you must be patient and it is HARD to do that. A MLC can take a long time to work its way out and you must absolutely do what you can to focus on you in the meantime. That way, you will be OK no matter what happens to the R. I agree with pt, that it is helpful to see this time alone as a gift to yourself. It can be difficult to this when you are ready to tear your hair out, but once you really start seeing it that way, you will begin to appreicate it, at least some of the time.

Keep reading and posting. So many of us have been there.

Mimi