I really liked "I Love You But I Am Not In Love With You" - but the review on Amazon that said you'd have to stop reading often so you can cry is spot on.
It helped me to realize that J's love language is loving acts, and showing consideration. Mine is physical - touch, kissing, lovemaking, etc. It helped me to realize that we moved from Loving Attachment in our marriage to Loving Regard and there we stayed since we were both giving love only in our own language. Now, I am using the skills in DR and ILYB in combination with loving distance and IC to help heal myself and focus on making the changes I need.
The lovemaking part has always been a problem for us, but a problem that has to be put aside until things are on less shaky ground.
