Cv, I think if you read what I wrote about arrogance, it is easy to see that the kind of arrogance of which i spoke and feeling 2nd best are orthogonal.
Btw, your response is another case of a deflective facile but poorly aimed counterargument. It is as Advina suggests, avoidance via nitpicking, even if the nitpicking is off-target.
Look, I'm pretty much done here. I've offered you as much as I can. My hope is that it will trickle in, even as I irk you now. I think you are a person in deep pain. It is perfectly normal to have such strong defenses against that which causes you pain. I get it. It doesn't make you a bad person. But it will keep you stuck. You can take my advice and work through those two books, or not. If you do, then either I'm right and your life will blossom with new joys, possibilities, hope, freedom from your own growth, or it won't. There is precisely one way to find out.
Advina, asking CV why she can't stop deflecting is like asking an LBS why they can't stop pursuing the WAS. It is currently the beat defense against further pain. The key in both cases is to find a different path, which is itself painfully hard and scary.
And, CV and Advina, notice that Advina's heightened concern in this case is about her-- it struck a nerve because if her own pain in her marriage. Really, it is a huge thing when we can look at things that get our dander up to learn about our own pain.
Apologies for the "I shall explain the world" tone above, but I have weak tact on the best days, and I'm in a rush on a phone.
Trust that I'm coming from a place of compassion and concern. You're a good person, and I want to see you find more joy that is more easily within your grasp than you think.
