Honestly, I don't feel in control when I am having a meltdown. I can say that there have been times in the past when I can remember, as you say, "Giving myself permission," but this last time it didn't feel that way. It seemed like there was too much, and I freaked out.
As for the shame - well, right now, I feel ashamed of my meltdown. I also feel ashamed of my failure to control myself enough that W can feel safe, failure to maintain a normal M with a woman who obviously was willing to give me hundreds of "second chances..." I can't even say how many things I am ashamed of.
Where exactly were you going with that?
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
