Look, you've really really got to read those two books. Every post you make, every frequent callback to perceived slights of other posters, each insistence on showing how we are flawed in our reasoning -- these things all confirm to me that you have a big monster roadblock between you and a better life no matter what direction it takes. Working on that part of yourself is independent of H.
As for the cookies, assuming you KNOW how they will turn out is part of the arrogance. Have an open mind, don't try to decide now if how you believe things might be in a year will be ok then. First you don't know how things will be. Second, you don't know how you would feel about them even if they turn out as imagined.
Quit planning your life on unknown future contingencies so much. Make a plan for 6 months. Then reassess.
