I didn't see it coming...but now I see everything

[breakdownbill]

Thanks everyone - here is where I'm up to I double posted sorry...
I'm sorry I haven't been back on here for a while & didn't think my last thread worked. I'm at a different place now I was trying miserably at the 37 steps & what finally got through to her was a full on dressing down to - I ran the riot act at her & said I was leaving regardless of what she wanted and packed a bag. She cracked & brokedown and when she started to open up to me she said she believed I still loved her & wasn't just saying these things, because I had faught for her and she could see in my eyes I meant every word of it. We made up and had the best sex of my life. I was so happy, I'd been given another chance and I was gonna take it and make her feel like the only woman in the world. Then hours later she confessed to having an affair with her dance partner. She says that they haven't slept together - only kissed and fooled around - but on that other post when she came in @ 8am she had gone back to his place. I was so mixed up emotionally, on the one hand I was on cloud 9 so happy & then this which I should have worked out really. She said that she had called him & told him it was over & delted his number from her phone & all the text messages and said that she would stop going dancing altogether. I forgave her and we went back to bed and made love twice and I had never felt closer to her. Today it sunk in what she had done and I don't hate her, I just hate what she's done. I've booked myself in for some counselling to try & deal with the trust issue. I asked her to show me any text messages he sends before she deletes them, which today she did & deleted without responding to it. It's going to be hard, she feels so guilty and rightly so!! I want it to work so bad & have forgiven her. I'm happy but it's tinged with the thought of another man touching my wife. I know I can get over it, I just hope she can cope with the guilt & not run away from this.