When it's a one-way street...part 4

[InAPickle]

CV: "THIS is what I feel like I'm struggling with, not the forgiveness itself."

Then allow me to interject.

Go back to what Sandi said about her H not "deserving" forgiveness. Does anyone really "deserve" to be forgiven for anything? The answer is "no". No one deserves forgiveness.

Forgiveness in relationships is really for the "forgiver" not the "forgivee." (I'm not talking about divine or religious stuff)
As MWD writes, it's a gift we give ourselves, but she makes it sound a little too easy.

Let me give you an example - Me.
Here's a saying I coigned not long after the D.

"Do not confuse forgiveness with insanity. Forgiveness is letting bygones be bygones and not holding an offense against another person. Insanity is making yourself vulnerable to their crazyness all over again."

As you can see, I'm nowhere near "there" yet. I can let go of the pain. I can let go of my XW. But right now I couldn't take her back, even if she snapped out of her crisis. It would be sorta overwhelming, and I know I am not ready.

But that doesn't mean we never will be ready! These things take time. We've all been traumatized to some extent or another.

Continue to hope, because it isn't the "knowing" that is holding you back, it is fear.

None of us want to see ourselves vulnerable again to a betrayed trust. But that's okay. This is normal, a stage along the journey. I'll pray that we both get "there" soon, hows that?