WoW! A lot of points being covered very quickly. I'm having a hard time fitting them all in my head at one time, so I'm going to do this in pieces.
There seems to be a recurring theme about forgiveness. I get that forgiveness is important. I think I don't know what I'm missing.
When I was asking about what to do with the "knowing," I was referring to the underlying message, not knowing about the action itself. The action is forgivable, especially when it doesn't happen again. Or, even if it happens again and again but isn't a relational issue, then it's easy to forgive as well. I also think it can be easy to forgive when you accept that you had something to do with causing the problem in the first place. (eg. If your S has an A and you recognize your part in the R that lead up to that.) And even if you had absolutely NOTHING to do with it, any action can be forgiven by someone that wants to.
I was asking about what to do with it afterwards, after you've forgiven, but when you KNOW something you didn't know before. A great hypothetical would be if you found out your H/W was gay. You can forgive them for whatever you think needs forgiveness (NOT looking to debate this,) but the fact now remains that your S is homosexual, with all that that entails. Forgiveness does NOT make everything better. All the forgiveness in the world will not make the R right.
You now KNOW something about that person that changes your R forever. You can't possibly go forward in your R pretending that you don't, and there's no way to actually UN-know it, nor do I believe it would be wise to do so.
THIS is what I feel like I'm struggling with, not the forgiveness itself.
