I don't love you anymore, but we can be friends

[workinghardguy]

LA is right Sad... knock it off, you know better but it feels good so you do it. Right? I know because that was me still four weeks ago before W moved out. God it feels good. Like you're connecting.

When she wants to connect with you she will.

I'd also strongly suggest you read "How to Save Your Marriage Without Talking About It". Don't let the title confuse you... it's probably not going to save your M in the immediate sense of the word. But it will show you lots of stuff you need to know and internalize.

Wives don't go down this road, usually, unless they feel ultimately alone. Why they feel alone can vary, but in the end it's that they are already doing this alone, so why carry you along too? If all of that money stuff is true then I suspect your W feels terribly alone. A few weeks of "new you" isn't going to change things. Months... lots of months, maybe a year, maybe a few might, but there is no magic bullet, no instant fix.

It doesn't appear there is an OM for her to run to... this is good, b/c that would be the next thing. But right now she feels entirely alone and abandoned by you. So don't expect her to want or need any comfort from you.

And this is a marathon not a sprint. Dig in and be ready for a long run. It seems like it's spiraling towards disaster, towards the end of things. You come on here hoping one of us will tell you it looks like you're about to turn the corner.

None of us can do that... sorry. I truly wish we could. I know I wished that for a long time. But you're not spiraling towards disaster. If you split up, you and the kids will be ok. But only if you work on you and change yourself. Single, super-working dad who focuses on work and not family isn't going to work out well. Not if you want kids who don't despise you as they get older. Focus on them right now. Focus on being a dad first. You can't go wrong focusing on your kids. Focusing on your W only invites heartbreak and angst.