Antlers: I am really sorry that you are hurting. You seem to be in a bad place despite the repeated pronouncements that you are in a better place. And please stop with the FUK statements here and on other people's threads. In 10 years I don't ever rmember anyone using it as an adjective all the time. It is unpleasant.
But your actions and your words don't match up. You are obviously really angry and upset about "other guy" yet you say you get that she is divorced and can do this and it is only about the court order. Yet you won't go to a lawyer about it. Reading it - it is about much more than any court order.
"Stop Texting" is the right advice just as your son said. He makes his first contact and you go off on him about being up on a school night? Are you kidding??? Couldn't you just oblige his request and that would have made him happy with you - not angry.
You are continuing to wallow. It is good to vent here but I don't think it is enough. Are you still seeing a counselor regularly? If not - make an appt - a professional can offer much more. And are you on ADs??? I am not a fan of them personally but they have helped many people who have been angry and depressed.
And how does once "catch Hell" from their daughter? You are the adult here. Don't let the kids call the shots. He obviously needs counselling (& in my opinion, a lot more - like a special program as previously suggested).
I think you need a more "balanced" approach to everything. Much less messaging and much more backing off and giving space while taking care of you. Letting them see changes in you when the opportunities arise. You seem to get stuck in these holes of despair. We've all been there but eventually we started climbing out.
Are you in any social groups? I honestly thing that being around other people will help you. Divorce Recovery? Hobby? Church? You are physically active - so that is good but try something with a group - not just alone. And try going a month without contacting the family members directly (except maybe youngest daughter). They have asked you not to - you'd be surprised - they might notice if you are not constantly contacting them.
I know you are hurting and you don't need a bashing but I can't think of any other way to help.
