On my lawyer's advice I agreed to guarantee the re-lease of our family car if H would allow me to use it to drive the kids around while he took back the 2nd, less reliable car to use for himself. This arrangement would continue until we'd had a chance to decide on the division of our assets.
Lawyer basically asked me if I was insane when she heard that H wanted me to be guarantor for the lease on 'his' car for the next 5 years. She eventually agreed that, as I was guarantor for the current lease anyway, I was at no more financial risk and it would stave off the inevitable financial disaster that would ensue if H had to find $10K cash to cover the residual on the lease, now, when he will also have to surrender the car.
Anyway, H laughed in my face at this proposal. Said he would not 'pay for a car for me to drive' and would now take both cars away from me, as he would need to sell the 2nd car to help find the money to pay out the lease.
He was absolutely vicious, saying that I would be left with no car at all, and that he would take responsibility for driving the kids to and from school.
No thought about how they might be fed - presumably I can walk to the supermarket 2ks away - or be ferried around to the 6 or 7 separate places they need to get to on weekends, or how I will get to and from work in time to care for the kids, etc.
He then sent me a very formally worded email demanding that I respond to his lawyer's letter that outlined his proposal that I should give him 40% of my superannuation and house.
The man is beyond 'alien' at this stage. It's like he's some sort of evil robot, programmed to 'EXTERMINATE'.
That he could contemplate doing this to the kids - depriving me of a car will impact on them so immediately and massively.
I suppose I could go out and try to get a loan to buy another car, but that will mean that I no longer have the money to cover the house repayments and school fees.
How this has all deteriorated from the sitch of a few months ago, I just don't know.
Then he was saying 'nothing will change for the kids' and coming over every morning to prepare their lunches and drive them to school, as well as returning in the afternoon to make dinner - and enjoying family movie nights, BBQs, days out, etc.
The only thing I can think is that his business really is at the end point now; that things are so bad that it's all going to collapse and, this way, he can tell everyone that 'the divorce' (or more likely his witch of an XW) took every last cent that he had.
If he'd stayed with us and everything had been ruined, there would have been no-one to blame for it all but him and his own incompetence. This way, he avoids the public shame of being responsible, again, for the business failure.
But on the other hand, maybe it's just me, like he says.
Maybe I should guarantee the lease on his car for the next 5 years, go out and buy myself a cheap car, and watch with a smile on my face as H and OW drive around our neighbourhood in our big, luxurious family car.
Thoughts? Feedback?
I'm no longer capable of dealing with this sort of stuff. I truly doubt my own ability to make any sort of appropriate decision. Gaslighting comes to mind...
And speaking of gas, sometimes the Sylvia Plath option seems understandable.
