Waiting for the tides to change - 3

[BFloat]

ok.. so i'm trying to pinpoint where this sudden surge of emotion is coming from..

last night i had a dream.. POW was in it. and in my dream.. i let her have it!! i went on a rant.. telling her she was a homewrecker.. saying things like.. look my kids in the eye and try to justify your actions.. karmas a b*tch! you name it.. i said it!! that fuelled by my conversation w/ H last night about finances and him getting his own place.. blegh!

i was sad this evening. thinking about the dissolution of my M. hurting for my kids.. feeling sorry for myself. and then i had to remind myself.. the outcome has not yet been determined. it is in God's hands and i just have to continue on this journey.

i still have a few aces up my sleeve.. i am still the mother of his 2 beautiful children.. i am loving, kind, and just an all around awesome person (ok.. trying to give myself a pep talk).. i'm also beautiful (might as well add that.. i'm on a roll).. ummmm.. hmmmm.. i got nothing else.

this is by far the hardest.. most painful walk i've ever had to make. i am just so thankful for the support, insight, and love i receive here. it has been my lifeline through some of my darkest hours. ack! now i have the LOTR soundtrack playing in my head!!