I am curious to hear from others who have experienced WAWs. What is their reasoning? My W swears there is nobody else and I believe her. I just am trying to figure out how she lost so much interest in this marriage to the point of moving out.
Well, can't speak on the behalf of a LBS, but I will take a shot at the WAW's reasoning.
The first thought is that she wants to be free of her stitch and available for new things, new people, dating, new life, etc. She's been unhappy with her life with you, and she wants to see if the grass is greener away from you.
But, let's pretend she has not already been looking at another man, and she's not moving out so she can be available. She could still have the grass is greener syndrome. If that's the case, she will need to experience life without you in order to discover the grass isn't greener....it's just a different kind, and it still has to be mowed! IMHO, women who leave based on this reasoning, should not have any help (emotionally, physically, etc.) from the LBH in any sense of speaking. An example would be....if she needs a plumber, don't call you. She can look the number up in the yellow pages.
I want to refer back to something you said:
Quote:
W talked a lot about how we had not been able to communicate honestly and openly, about real feelings and emotions; that our marriage was one on the surface free of real confrontation or connection.
Most females have the need to connect emotionally with their man. I'm wondering if she felt like the conversations and the MR was all just "surface" and she wanted you to get down deeper with her. She wanted emotional intimacy. When a woman has emotional intimacy with her H, then she feels real connection with him.
So, if your W did not feel connected with you emotionally or physically, it stands to reason that she was very unhappy. She lost interest in the MR b/c she felt it was shallow. If her H can't get down on a deeper level of conversation and emotional intimacy with her, then why would she be interested in a M with him? To her, it's like looking at a doll house with all the little pieces in place. It looks nice on the surface....but that's about it. She wants more.
Do you know what her love language is? It sounds as if you have not communicated through the language she needed.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
