Going through your post I see your W doing several 180's in a short span. Rick, she is incredibly confused and from my rather limited point of view, she still loves you and is not ready to leave. Perhaps she is acting out like this because she sees you hurting and waiting. She does not want to be the cause of you discontent. Again, you are at a point where you decide to "stand" or lovingly let her go and build a new life for you and the kiddo's. She definitely wants to run to some place that gets her out from seeing this day to day nightmare. She said today that she has destroyed all of it and needs to get out, and believes that she has burnt her bridges and will be alone. I agree with that, she hasn't been able to make gains here at home. She can't even get to the point of rebuilding a M and family when she has serious self loathing issues and basically has been living a lie for decades. I think, I know she loves me and the kids. That's all made it harder for her by being here. I don't see any other realistic way to even get herself in order, never mind the rest of us while here.
For what its worth - my expertise is way limited! I have no children and my sitch is relatively cut and dry.
