Thanks. It's where I'm at. Until I can get better skilled at this consistently, I won't be able to move into the more charged area of sexual intimacy.
My W and I had a difficult lesson yesterday working on Samba Rolls, requiring a different set of skills than a slot or smooth dance. The plan was to split the lesson so that we could share the time for our own agendas. I ended up taking the whole time as I was struggling. My W today complained that I took the entire time, and that she couldn't understand why I wasn't getting it quicker. Here's another opportunity top practice self-validated intimacy (self-soothing of the frustration and doubt from the lesson and my W's lack of empathy, and to hold onto myself by continuing to review the lesson tapes, practicing on my own, and asking my W to practice at least weekly). The interesting thing is that even with her lack of validation, she still expects a level of skill and improvement from week to week. I'll let her decide what to do about rescheduling a future lesson. We have seven left with this studio.
I'm starting to get results from the author's concepts and perspective on self-validated intimacy. It breaks patterns of passive-aggressiveness, holding onto resentment, and judgment towards my W. This means we're breaking and reducing destructive patterns in the R.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
