Forgiveness

[antlers]

well regardless of your goals (or how SHE will see them)...you have said enough.
I agree. I have said enough. I've got to stop holding on to the bad feelings for the damage I did. I do believe that I've made some real progress in 4 months time. I think about the analogy of the guy who was texting, or drinking, while driving and killed someone. What's he supposed to do? Kill himself? Or live? And do better?
Don't write anymore b/c there is nothing left to say about your past.
I agree there too. There's nothing left to say. But there is something left to do...live, and do better! I don't know what else I could do!

Stick to the "NOW" and future plans for the kids.
My youngest daughter and I communicate daily. She's the only one who shows any interest in me. I'm putting forth much effort to foster that relationship. She's wild though...and runs around unbridled. I worry about her.

Please, say no more to your ex w about what you feel now about the past or what you felt then, or anymore about it. I don't intend to. It would serve no useful purpose. I just had some stuff I felt like I needed to express and I did. Every once in a while, I still am sort of overcome by remorse for what aa awful emotionally abusive person I was...but that happens with less frequency now.

If I tell you all the reasons I feel this way, you will engage in the details of it and defend or argue, I think. Nope, don't think so 25. There's nothing to defend...and I sure as hell am done arguing with anybody about anything. I am always interested in your feedback though. So you'll lose sight of the forest for the trees. I don't think so. My mind is more open than its ever been. I'm sure interested in learning more, and in gaining new insights.

But what is left to say about the past? ("NOTHING" is the answer)
Agreed. I hope I get a second chance on down the line with someone else...so I can do better and apply the knowledge that I now have, and the experience that I now have. I will definitely do much better. If it happens, I'll love and cherish her like I should.


Be here now. putting forth more and more effort daily to do just that. God I wanna live and not just exist.

((( )))