Waiting for the tides to change - 3

[BFloat]

thanks hopeless.. my concern is that H an i currently have a joint acct (in hindsight it was really dumb to have our lives so intertwined since the beginning). both our paychecks go into there. H is currently staying w/ a friend sleeping on the couch but this person will soon be leaving for NZ for an indefinite amount of time. he has stated that wants to continue paying for half the mortgage etc to ensure that kids are secure.

he is now thinking of getting a second job because i'm sure he's thinking about the fact that he can not afford to pay half the bills etc and pay rent at the same time. i'm assuming that if this is the case, he will be putting the income from that second job into an entirely different acct.

i want to have concrete divisions on the finances if this is the case because.. if i work more.. would it be fair to be going into the joint acct? also.. because he's paying for half the mortgage.. if we end up selling our place.. does he then claim half the profits? we've put all our other debts into the mortgage now for one lump sum payment.

i think.. we need to discuss the need for child support. we need separate accts.. have clear definition of child support.. and then it will be up to me to figure out whether i can afford the mortgage or not. if not.. then i may have to move. we also would have to figure out all the other logistics such as.. who owns what car.. separate insurance payments.. and then if he has his own place.. he will have to figure out groceries for when the kids are with him!!

yeah.. it's not so cut and dry. H had actually answered my last txt by saying he didn't know how he should feel.. he thought he was doing the right thing by putting everything he earned into bills and the mortgage.. he still wants the best for the kids.. he needs time to feel this out..

he obviously still feels that his decision is what's best for the kids.

wow.. rant much?? lol