I'm a Tar Heel through and through!! Even meow I didn't go there, my mom, dad and granddad all went there- I guess I was the black sheep
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
oh ro.. don't you wish H was a hamster that you could keep in a cage so you could just watch to see what he does next? you could be the cat perched outside. meowing.. and batting the cage to rile him up?? but alas.. it seems like it's the other way around. we're stuck and they're riling us up. question is.. how do we get out?? if there are enough hamsters in the cage.. we could boost each other out. and the ones that already out can help hoist us on our way. hmmmm.. metaphor for life.
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
BF: you're gonna beat me.... But you ended up with a great metaphor!!
I have a large dog cage, do you think I could keep H in there? I could get him a water bottle that he as to lick 1000 times to get a drink and some kibble in the bottom of the cage... I see nothing wrong with this!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Thanks guys. Ended up watching the game from across the room while I was doing my hair. I was thinking out loud that I needed to eat because it was getting late. About 15 mins later H asks if I wanted him to warm me up some leftovers. I started to say no, but that would be my typical self so I stopped myself and said yes. He even waited until I cleaned up some to warm his own food. He has said before that he feels sometimes that I don't need him around because I'm so independent. WAY too controlling is what it was. Trying to be mindful of that when he offers his help.
He's being extra helpful and nice. I know it doesn't mean anything really, and I shouldn't have any expectations. But why am I so skeptical? Why can't I enjoy it without feeling like the other shoe is going to drop? And then I think if we do R, will I always feel like this?
I had a pretty good weekend. Yesterday was church and rest day. Sermon topic was "And Then Jesus Came". My Pastor was saying just when you're ready to give in and throw in the towel Jesus steps in to sustain you through your test. Boy did I need to hear that!
When I came home H complimented me on my hair several times and kept glancing at me. It was kind of weird. Then when I went to sit in the living room, in my normal spot on the loveseat, he says, "Oh you can sit here." H moves his laundry off the couch so I can sit with him. He also keeps volunteering to do stuff for me like offering to pick me up if my vertigo gets too bad, or fixing my plate when we eat, and going back to the car when I've left something after coming home.
I'm not sure what to think anymore. H hasn't mentioned moving at all, and then there's OW. I haven't seen him texting as much, but that doesn't mean he isn't. I've talked myself out of pulling up our cell phone records so far. That's the only way I would know if they are still in contact. But snooping always sends me into a downward spiral so I'm really trying not to go there.
Labug, that's one of my problems. I'm a fixer. I feel like I should be DOING something.
I will say, I am laughing so much more these days. For real laughing. I think H really is going to think I'm nuts. LOL Feels good though. I can see the old me peeking through the blinds. The sun is almost up!
But snooping always sends me into a downward spiral so I'm really trying not to go there.
Remember this.
Try not to overthink things. If he's being nice, let him be nice. You continue being the new and improved RoRo.
Happy Monday!
One more thing...How long am I supposed to be the new and improved me (its basically just the me I am now) before I ask him what's going on? Some people say do it now, others say wait. I feel like I need some sort of checklist to know what to do next in my life. LOL
Just needed to get this out. Otherwise H will have an email in his inbox in the next 5 minutes.
Been re-reading some of sandi2's old posts. Man her H has the patience of Job.
I'm not sure I could wait two years for my H's A to end, and him to be ready to work on the M. In fact I KNOW I can't. As a fixer, it's so frustrating to not being able to fix my M. Moving on...
And I know some of you will say it's all about detaching, GALing and all that. GALing until I'm blue in the face doesn't remove the fact from my mind (and heart) that my H has chosen someone over me. And basically doesn't seem to care that I know it, so he continues. I guess it would be easier to detach if he wasn't still living at home. But I've read that having the WAS still in the home can help with R.
I just don't know how to detach with him still there acting like nothing is wrong. GALing doesn't help when I come home to Ward Cleaver.
