I have been subjected to some projection, but also if I am honest my relationship has altered my behavior too, so at times I have probably mirrored the borderline behavior as a coping/peacekeeping strategy. I think you cannot live with this and behave as you did prior to the relationship.
From reading these boards every MLC or sets of behaviors is unique to an individual, I personally have a tendency to assign personality traits to a particular label, it makes it easier for me to deal with in many ways.
My fundametal mistake was beleiving that no matter what my W's family of origin issues or subsequent life events she has dealt with it and coped well.
If I follow my basic instincts I think my W is at core a nice person who has been messed up by events since childhood.
She has never raged externally but acted out Passive Aggressively, through creating limited chaos and sabotaging.
She has externalized the cause of her unhappiness and looked externazlly for the things to make her happy.
Demonizing is all part of the black and white thinking one minute you are the answer to all their prayers and hopes next minute you are dismissed and demonized.
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However I question his actions because he seems to have changed. time will tell again, but I sense that change that we've all talked about when the MLCer comes out of the tunnel. Something is just different. That's what I've been picking up on. It's too early to tell. Only consistent proof and changes will really be the answer.
I pick up on some of this also. How much is a need to reconnect and how much is 'hoovering' or 'triangulation' who knows? we can only wait to see what transpires.
