With this consultation looming with the L, I am feeling that I have to fix the problems with the R before then. Realistically I know this is not possible and my head hurts trying to comprehend all of this stuff. Is W too far gone to reconcile?
I don't believe it's too late as long as she's not M to another! So, that means that even if this goes to D court, it's still not too late.
I've noticed that men seem to think alike about the D date. As if they have to fix what's broken before that date or it over and never another chance. It's a date! Life goes on and so do R's. If you don't believe that obsessing over the D date will drive you crazy, read Crimson's thread.
Calm down. Don't try to fix her. Don't discuss the R. Back off and give her space. Most importantly, don't pursue.
Post often.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
