I know those same lonely feelings all too well. And weekends have always been the hardest. In fact, it's the nights that get me: when the kids are asleep and it used to be just me and H hanging out on the couch or ML... When I'm sitting there alone, *that's* when it hits me again.
I remember reading some of your posts while he was in FL, you were getting to a good place and detaching- you've had to start over (almost) now that he's back. Before my H moved out, I was a complete mess- almost everyday! I felt moments of detachment, but they were short lived. It was almost a blessing disguise when he moved out, I started to be able to detach more often. Dont misunderstand, I am not completely detached by any means, and I still long for his companionship... But I don't break down and cry anymore. I don't get my feelings hurt when he's not as attentive as I hope.
DBing while they are gone is different than when they are visible regularly. You've got to get yourself back to that mental place you were when he was gone. It won't take you as long as it did before and you should be able to recover from the emotional trauma quicker each time. What did you do that helped when he was gone? Do those, double them of you have to!
It's completely unserstandable why you're feeling low again, his homecoming and talk about D is like a second bomb. You're going to have to let yourself go through all the same emotions as the fist one, but they wont last as long in each phase this time.
You already proved that you can get to a place where you were able to say that you were completely done with the M.... Not saying you should get back there, but you can get to that strong place again!
(((31)))
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
