Where to next?

[mishka422]

Ok. Convoy done. I asked him if he is here because he wants to be or because he has no other choice. He, of course, says he wants to be. I'm fairly certain he is being truthful. I did tell him that I'm on edge and concerned that I'm going to drive him away again and asked him to please give me fair warning if he is unhappy.

The other thing I asked him was what I am to him. He doesn't have an answer to that. He says 'we are fine'. That there doesn't need to be a label. That's true, but it still makes it hard to understand if I mean anything more to him than being a bed partner.

The other thing that came out in this discussion was that he has no intentions of ever taking our R any further. No commitments, no regrets. He said if I want more than that, he can't give it and to let him know if I want him out.

Now my job is to figure out if I can live with that the rest of my life.

In short......I'm still totally confused and living on the edge of disaster.

Great.