Keeping the Kids Out of It

[PrincessP]

As I said on my first post only a few days ago, I am new to DB and marital separation (two months now.) My H has taken our 4-year old daughter out a few times on his own. Last night, she broke down into tears about having to keep secrets which are instructions from her father. The last time my H took her out of the house for some “quality time” they went ice skating. She came home with a single red rose, which is neither nor there, bought by her father. Last night my H asked our daughter if she still liked her rose to which she answered yes and can she have “the other one.” I saw the head shaking and look of disapproval from my H towards our daughter who suddenly frowned and clammed up. After he left she told me again that they spent time together with “daddy’s special friend” and he asked her not to tell me about it. The first time was during the first time my H took our daughter for an overnight stay. Apparently the OW stayed in the hotel room with them, and she was invited to join them on the bed to watch movies. (Yikes, an adult stranger in the bed with a child.)

While I am not delighted by the fact that my H is already exposing our child to a stranger, I am far more disturbed by the fact that he is asking her to a keep a confidence that she does not understand why, not to mention the fact that during these outing the OW and my H are being affectionate with each other in front of our child.

I am working on the 180 methods (and only for a few days now.) While I don’t want to jeopardize my hard work, I don’t think I can stand by watching our child being manipulated and put into adult situations as a preschooler. It is simply wrong. How would anyone feel hearing the words out of child’s mouth “I have to keep a secret and it hurts me inside?” Any thoughts on how to approach my H about stopping this inappropriate behavior without taking steps back in the 180 process?

My apolgies for posting this topic again but a veteran member suggested I post in Newcomers.