Hi 25. I will try to answer the questions. We have both agreed no contact. He blocked her number on his phone showing me proof from telelphone company so she can no longer call him. He has always been where he says he is showing me proof with a call from work -caller id or phoning and letting me know when he is leaving etc. HOnestly, I am not worried about him seeing OW again. Maybe I am fooling myself but he said it was miserable. He wanted to come home for a long time and just didn't think he could. Didn't know what life with me would be like after he had done what he did. He has gone into detail why it was bad. Missing us, terrible mistake, empty life with out us, etc. It seems he basically used her as a place to stay, etc. And, used the alcohol to stay numb as to not think about us. But, there is this little part of me who wants to stay on the defense as to not get fooled again.! He wasn't the kind of man to do this- but he did. He initiated the addiction group we go to weekly. Reminding me that we have it when the day comes. Next weekend we are attending a marriage seminar for 3 days. I asked way back when and he himself booked and made the hotel arrangments. I am trying so hard not to point fingers. WOrking through my own sand!! But, there are triggers of course. If I am upset he will come and hug me and let me cry and say once again- I am sorry. I don't know if he will ever "get" it. The pain, the abandonment. Thats what I am wondering if it takes time for him to see the damage. I truly believe he would do anything for our family. I do know when "it" comes up it is still painful for him. His defenses go up. Doesn't get mad but will say "I can't fix you" or " I don't know if it will ever go away". My response is - give us time! It has only been 3 months!! The majority of days are good. I am glad he is home and so are the kids. I am still working to be the best wife and mom I can be. I guess I was hoping for some encouragment from you. You walked this entire thing with me-and I appreciate it. Thank you.
