I guess Im sad because I don't think xh will ever really become the person I thought he was.
I can fully empathize with you. My W is cool and aloof, can be very charming and very seductive and I could fall in love with her every fay. Sadly it's all an illusion and nothing stands the test of time. This is the false self and survival mode she has adopted. The reality is: no empathy, no emotional connection and the ability to seduce and easily move on to the next people pleaser who she can objectify.
She is still using her charms to try and 'hoover' me, I still find it hard to resist!!
I too am sad but it had to end, it is all to easy to say 'give it another six months, another six months' and find another 5 years have got behind you.
There are still many happy family memories which I try to keep in context. We were pretty good acquaintances most of the time just not intimates.
I think that as you get older the intimate bond becomes more desirable and necessary.
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I guess Im sad because I don't think xh will ever really become the person I thought he was
I hope you, like I have been too, are not sad over what ever was only an illusion.
Hopefully we will all find someone we can mutually depend on, someone who is emotionally available and together we can make those basic human connections. I like to think that if there is a next time all of my lessons have been learned, albeit the hard way. Next time it must feel right at each moment, (mindfulness), no compromises or expectations of future improvement.
Kimmerz remember nothing, really, nothing in creation lasts forever. We must all learn to embrace change and no one knows where life will lead us.
