If you like Pina Coladas....

[purgatory]

25- yes, I do think the R with OW is kinda on- in the sense that he has stopped going over there as much but I'm sure he still texts/calls her- not sure how often. I have no idea if the OW's H will take action- he's usually a 'threaten and do nothing' kind of guy. He's currently stationed in Guam- with a live-in girlfriend.. So there's a whole lot of drama on that side of things! I have no desire to get involved!

The last deployment was 3 years ago. That one was for 9 months, the 2 previous ones were 8 months each. We only had 1 kid and our M was 'good'. We had a scheduled talk on the phone every day (he was a department head so he had a sat phone.) We never got to do Skype cause the ship's Internet was sketchy at best. He had made a DVD of him reading bedtime stories to S which we watched and followed along with the book almost every night. H would ask me to send care packages to some single sailors in his department b/c they never got anything. I was also the FRG president. Over all, H had me very involved in his ship life.

I have no idea what to expect with this IA. He will be living in a camp/base. I don't know if he'll have regular access to a phone or computer. Since our M is not good, I don't know that he'll make any extraordinary efforts to communicate. He has said that he will make another DVD for the boys to watch while he's gone.

Today:
I came home from work at 4:30, and H is taking a nap in the guest room. (It's nice to know that he chose to come here instead of crashing at his 'room'- it makes me think that he's still comforted by being in our home) He gets up, takes a shower and comes down to watch TV with S6 for a little while. In fact he's sitting across from me on the couch while I type this post (he keeps glancing at me) He didn't say why he came home, and just left to go to the gym.

Tomorrow is his birthday, and we've planned to do a family breakfast in the morning. Here's my thing: I've always made a big deal out of birthdays and H loved it b/c he said it was never a big deal in his house when he was growing up. I don't want to do too much that might make him uncomfortable, but at the same time- I want to be my authentic self (for my own peace of mind and to show him who I really am) and my 'A.S.' enjoys making other people happy on their birthday by doing the unexpected. How do I balance the 2??

I already did a little something (don't judge!). While he was napping, I put some shows I got him in the floorboard of his truck with a note saying 'happy early birthday'. When he left for the gym, I got a text: "Wow! Thank you, I love them!" (honestly my heart skipped a beat when I saw the word 'love'- even though it wasn't addressed at me, it's the first time I've seen that word from him in 4 months... I'm a sap.) I have a few more presents for tomorrow, 2 are 'from' the boys.

Do I hope he'll stay here tonight so he'll be at the house for breakfast, yes. Do I wish that he would say he wants to go out with me and the boys for his birthday dinner, yes. Do I have any expectations that either of these will happen, no.