On jumping out of an airplane, are you saying that there is no way that you could ever trust someone to pack your chute?
Nope. Never. No way, no how. Not on THAT issue. And statistics mean absolutely nothing to me.
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If he is having an EA NOW, then it's not "history", it's an issue to work on. Have you told your h that it hurts you, (or have you assumed he knows or ought to know?) I did comment that I don't believe he knows you love him (do you? I mean I can't tell) and if he truly does not feel loved by you then it's very easy to see how he'd rationalize an affair, even just an EA.
Now? Who can say. He hid it before, I don't snoop. Yes, I've told him it hurt me, he apologized, but then went on to justify it, so the apology is sort of moot. I'm sure I love him, but I also dislike him very much. I posted elsewhere that "no feelings" is a defense mechanism, and I'm all over that. I definitely don't feel loved by him, so I could easily rationalize an EA as well, but I don't because it's not appropriate in a M. But then this goes back to my needing to lower my standards.
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We all need some intimacy in our lives and if the old flame gives that to him, you might want to look at how empty HIS love tank is. I say that b/c you don't seem to think you play any role in his behavior. I am not making you responsible for him, but I AM saying it did not occur in a vacuum.
I get that, but again. I'm not sure if it's possible for me to fill his love tank. Remember, he wasn't content with my focused attention on our honeymoon.
