Yes, I was asking what the criticism from your parents was like. It was a question, thus the question marks.
Some people have very strong emotional reactions with very bad feelings if someone thinks they've made a mistake or error of some sort, done something wrong, or not done something in the manner they were told to do so. They also demonstrate significant disdain if they think someone is making a mistake, holds a false belief, is doing something the wrong way.
It sounds like you may be like this. It sounds like you have deep emotional wounds around such things that may keep you stuck, and that you have a pattern of treating others such that if they make mistakes, are unskilled, uninformed, wrong, etc, that they too are worthy of disdain and not worthy of love.
Not everyone is, ya know? I can be wrong, mistaken, make typos, use poor grammar, be misinformed, mess up a project, misunderstand, etc... It does not emotionally wound me. And, I feel perfectly lovable and worthy in spite of such things. Of course, there are other things about me that make me feel insecure, worried about being lovable, etc... But, making mistakes just does not phase me.
If you are so wounded by the thought of being wrong or mistaken, you'll quite naturally do everything possible to keep yourself from entertaining that view. You'll deny, rationalize, etc...
Contrary to what you suggest, you seem to be a master at convincing yourself that you are right and others are wrong. You toss up whatever argument is facile to justify your position. That seems to be your primary way of dealing with things in your exchanges here and your reported exchanges with H.
What if I'm right? What if CZ is in such pain because it hurts her so much to risk being thought of as being mistaken? Not for petty know-it-all reasons, but because it hurts you to your core as a human being? Can you have compassion for such a person? Can you see how sad it would be to be a child like that, to have one's lovability linked to not making mistakes? To me it is heart-wrenching.
We all stumble, fall, make mistakes. We're all incompetent boneheads at times. We all feel certain about things when we're totally wrong.
So what? I mean, really, so what? It doesn't hurt me.
It doesn't have to hurt you.
Do you feel rage or deep shame when you are mistaken or do something wrong (and I don't mean morally wrong)?
