Denial....its not just a river in Egypt...

[imthemom]

S15 (wow...still getting use to that!!) have plans to go fishing this weekend. I cant wait!..we are just going to get one day fishing licenses and STBXH has some tackel boxs in the garage that he left here so we shouldnt have to spend much money..:)
I have not been fishing in years and H hasnt taken S15 since he was small so it should be alot of fun us trying to figure it all out..LOL!!

Also plan on working on organizing the garage and getting ready for garage sale...all that stuff from our home that H was living in, that sold in Dec. is still just stuffed in there. a lot of it I dont even need but has been hard to look at. I hate that every time I walk out there its just a huge reminder of how chaotic my life was...that has to go!!! H has some stuff that he had stored here last year that he has been asking to get and before I would get so upset when he would ask about it, now I just want it out!..he has asked several times but never showed to get it so I think i will just load it up and take it to him...or put it out in my driveway and let him know he can come pick it up...not sure ...It will be hard but I know it needs to get done...sick of looking at it.

so those are my plans for the weekend...hope everyone else has a good one..:)

[verycrazy]

Onward and Upward! It really sounds like your PMA is getting into place. Good for you!

I know how you feel, it is taking getting used to saying S19 since November. I wish he was still S2! I miss that.

It should be so cleansing to get rid of all that stuff out in your garage, especially H's things that are just reminders of an unhappy time. If you haul H's stuff out into the driveway, he may not show up to pick it up, so you'd just have to haul it back in again.

I hope you and S15 have a wonderful time fishing. You may have inspired me to get up a fishing day here. We haven't gone in a long time, not since a summer vacation when we went out in the Gulf, and the boat guys kept moving so much and so fast, they were making people sick. One guy wearing a gallon of cologne passed by us and puked over the side, and the smell of his cologne, plus the pitching of the boat, almost made me puke, and I never get seasick. Next time, we will hire a boat for just us, and make the guy go reallll slow. I hope y'all get lots of fish, enough to last a while.

We get to wait for more tornadoes this evening, as if Alabama hasn't had enough destruction from them, so that is our weekend so far

[mishka422]

I was thinking of you this morning VC when I saw the path of the storm. I hope it bypasses you this time.

ITM, fishing with your S15 will be so much fun! It's not important if you lose lures, bait, hooks....it's the time together that will be so much fun. Are you ocean fishing or lake fishing? I prefer deep sea but since I'm in GA now that isn't an easy option like it was in CA.

[verycrazy]

Thanks, mishka, I am praying it passes us by, too. I am feeling nervous, though, and getting things ready to take to the basement.
Where do y'all go to the ocean, in the Gulf or in the Atlantic? Must be nice to have that choice

Itm, you and S will look back on all these activities you do together. He will always know who was there without hesitation for him always. My S and I started doing stuff like that during the crisis, and still do. We are so close, and he knows he can come to me about anything, as your S will with you.
Y'all have fun; I have to go get my storage containers filled with photos and stuff. Mishka, I hope it doesn't come near you, either.

vc

[mishka422]

Thx VC. It looks like it will far north of us so I'm not too worried.

We go to the gulf more than the Atlantic. Much prettier beaches and water.

[imthemom]

We are just going to a local lake, just some fishen and some lunch and sitten on the bank.....
VC..my mom is in Alabama...Foley, actually im considering moving there after all this is settled. I hate California and am ready to get out of here. and its so much cheaper to live back there. thanks so much for all your support girls..its means alot to me, Im getting better and better at this detaching thing and I know Im gonna be ok now, still have my moments...like yesterday, I had to leave work early to take my pooch to the vet, driving on the back roads from the city I work in to the city I live in (its a little 2 lane road) and who do I come across??? thats right ...my STBXH, he must have gotten rained out of work and we just drove right past each other like just anyother stanger on the road...so weird...but it got me for a minute...then I just said, well, it is what it is..and moved on. Im not giving him the power to control how I feel on any given moment anymore!!!!!!

[mishka422]

Good for you ITM. Definitely own every moment of your life!

[imthemom]

Have an appt this morning to do taxs with STBXH.....I really dont want to go, everytime I am around him it just drags me back down. His attitude is really hard to take and I dont want to put myself in a situatin that is not good for me!!..
since our stuff is so complicated this year I know she is gonna have us come back to sign so I dont think I really need to be there. I am considering calling him and telling him I will just drop my stuff off with her later. I dont want to be difficult but I dont want to deal with him either.....

[verycrazy]

Foley?!! We go through there every year for vacation. You know, if y'all were able to move there, your S would probably love it. As soon as we see those signs for the Foley Beach Express, it's like coming home again. Funny how there are so many California/Florida connections here. My parents met and married in CA, and moved here near his family.

Oh, and, good for you with the new attitude when you passed STBXH on the road. I hope the tax appointment went well. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid him and his emotional toxins.

vc

[imthemom]

I didnt go VC...and i didnt regret it for a minute!..lol..I sent him a text and told him I would drop my stuff off later since there was no reason for me to be there, I plan on dropping my stuff of Monday. Instead I took my dog on a 7 mile walk with a friend and enjoyed myself...definatley worth the exchange!!
on the down side I had a situation with S15 I had to deal with, he was hanging out with his friends yesterday afternoon and came home "stoned"....I could tell right away and called him on it and he admitted it. I was so shocked and disapointed...of course after thinking about it and haveing no expectations I sent H a text to let him know S15 was grounded and why...all I got back was a text that said "he did what?"...mind you he lives 4 blocks away...he didnt come over to speak to him or even call to get the details. S28 came up and talked to him. I am so worried about the choices S15 is making...he cried and apologized and said he just wanted to "feel better". Of course I explained that was not the way to go about it, but Im so worried about him. I told him if he ever walked in my house again in that condition I would call his C and get him into the drug program immediantly.......
I am so sick of having to deal with all of this on my own....I am truly shocked at what a spineless coward my STBX has proved himself to be.
Moving away is looking better and better....I love the beach!